Prompt:   Name a time that you were very surprised. Write a story about what happened that surprised you.
 

There have been lots of times that I have been very surprised. But the one time I remember the best was one Christmas when I got my first kitten….

 It was Christmas Eve morning. There was a slight breeze in the house. I woke up humming gracefully. I walked to my window and peeked out. Snow was falling softly, landing on the ground making white hills. I sighed. Christmas was the next day. I couldn't wait for Santa to come and place presents under the tree. Christmas Day was such a wonderful day.

 That night my brother, sister, and I got a plate out from the cabinet and put cookies all around it. We put a halfway filled glass of milk in the middle for Santa. We added carrots on another plate for the reindeer. After that I changed into my pj's and my dad tucked me into bed.

 The next morning was Christmas! I went into my brother and sister's room to wake them up. Then I woke my parents up. We all went downstairs. When I got in the living room I saw shining presents everywhere! I ran to my presents and got the stuff out of my stocking. I sat down to play with them. As I started playing, I noticed a shiny blue present with holes in it behind the tree. I crawled behind the tree and picked it up. It had my name on it. I put it in my lap and sat on the couch and tore off the wrapping paper. It was a box. When I opened the box lid out jumped an orange striped kitten with big, round, blue eyes. It had a blue ribbon around its neck. The ribbon matched its eyes. It started licking me. I was very surprised. I thanked Santa a million times and went to my room to think of a name for it. I sat on my bed and put the kitten next to me. I stared at me with its big eyes. Then it crawled into my lab and started to purr. It liked me a lot. I decided to name the kitten Lovely because she loved me so much. I picked her up and played with her until dinnertime. She was really fun to play with. At nighttime when my dad tucked me in I asked him if Lovely could sleep with me. He said yes and put her next to me on my bed. She put her paw on my heart and purred. Soon I fell asleep. So did Lovely.

 And that was a time that I was very surprised. I got Lovely as a kitten, and I still have her. She is now a mother of three baby kittens. All with big, round, blue eyes-just like their mother.     THE END

Score Point 4:
 The response is focused on the topic and progresses logically from beginning to end. The student has chosen relevan and specific details as support, and th ecomposition is unified throughout. There are strengths in all four composing characteristics.