Prompt:   Name a time that you were very surprised. Write a story about what happened that surprised you.
 
 

On my ninth birthday it came a big storm. My dad went out on the porch and lookted up and it started to sleet he came back and after that abouit an hour it started to hail. Theice got as big as golf balls. Fiten manits lator thay go biger and untill thay were the size of baceballs. My mom was out in it driving. But she got luckie it just sleated where Dad siad that it was a tornado he got some of the hail that had busted in fore peaces he put it in the freaser and left it there

Score Point 1:
 This response exhibits a lack of command of narrative writing. Although the writer attempts to respond to the prompt, and there is some progression of events, the response is too sparse to receive a higher score.
 Event-not a story